Christina Anne Hawthorne
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Tag Archives: Childhood PTSD
As Was Then
“Oh Daddy…” but he wasn’t Daddy at all, though he was. In her mind, she was little again, as she was then. He was the man she wanted him to be that he could be, but wasn’t when he hurt … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #amwriting, #poetrycommunity, #WritingCommunity, abuse, child abuse, childhood, Childhood PTSD, Christina Anne Hawthorne, grief, loss, Ontyre Passages, poem, poetry
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Focus on the Now
Cross-legged on the floor, she clung to composure, a chaotic wind wanting to tear her world apart, carry her away. “Focus on the present, focus on the now.” The words burst forth, words once learned, words surfacing when she needed … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #amwriting, #poetrycommunity, #WritingCommunity, anxiety, calm, Childhood PTSD, Christina Anne Hawthorne, inner peace, mantra, Meditation, Ontyre Passages, panic disorder, poem, poetry, PTSD, yoga
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The Wait
In school, she painted smiles. At home, at night, she waited for floorboards to creak outside her door, for her door to open. Outside, children waited for birthdays, the Easter Bunny, and Santa on his sled. Inside, she waited for … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #amwriting, #poetrycommunity, #WritingCommunity, child, child abuse, Childhood PTSD, children, Christina Anne Hawthorne, healing, Ontyre Passages, poem, poetry
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#NaNoWriMo Ending – Resolve
It’s my sincere hope that everyone met their personal goals during NaNoWriMo. It’s my further hope you continue, that you finish the draft, and one day revise it. NaNo is but the beginning of the beginning. If you didn’t win, … Continue reading
Pluvial Night
Runaway, pluvial night. Cold in her bones. Unwanted. Undone. Uncertain life was worth another breath. Hurting to her soul. PTSD in the making. Each step, each raindrop, another reason to kneel in surrender. Awakening inner voice. Unforeseen inner strength. Walking … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #amwriting, #poetrycommunity, #WritingCommunity, abuse, child abuse, Childhood PTSD, Christina Anne Hawthorne, inner strength, Ontyre Passages, poem, poetry, PTSD
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Victim No More
Shrinking, wilting, trapped in the darkness, cowering. Victim. Managed, abandoned, stamped with a label, damaged. Outcast. Hopelessness, lifelessness, assistance that fades away, faceless. Forgotten. Grasping, seeking, the fickle left behind, standing. Awakened. Pneuma, yoga, sparking the strength within, survivor. Worthy. … Continue reading
Fear and Wonder as Influences
Ontyre, like all my writing, is a product of me, good and bad. Its origins are my origins. Its vistas are a product of my vision. Its characters a remix of my experiences. Its heartbreaks and joys come from my … Continue reading
The Year of Fear that Became Creative Redemption
This is about my ongoing Covid-19 lockdown, but it’s also about writing. Oh, but that’s just the beginning because, in the end, it’s about my writing salvation. At the moment the walls were closing in I found purpose. How ironic … Continue reading
Too Deep to Shatter
For too long it was a pain endured, a visitor to her room at night, a mirror for her steps when she tried to flee. They hadn’t locked him away, but they should have. They hadn’t erased her memory, but … Continue reading
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #amwriting, #WritingCommunity, abuse, child abuse, Childhood PTSD, Christina Anne Hawthorne, Ontyre Passages, poetry, PTSD
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When Writing Demanded I Heal from Childhood PTSD
Purpose. Commitment. Commitment to purpose. Fulfilling purpose requires the right tools and resources, both as a person and a writer. 2020 wasn’t just a year to assess, but a test. Entering the year, I had big expectations, but then Covid-19 … Continue reading
Christina Anne Hawthorne 